Confused.

Wow another blog post.. haha. I feel like I need to write this one to help clear my mind.. I think this post might piss some people off, but I don't care. I'm just wondering what my best choices for next year are. A huge part of me wants to move back home, I have this strange feeling it will fix everything. But I know it won't. I miss my best friends, I miss sunday nights with my parents. I miss eating dinner with my parents and not having to think about the drive up to Logan. But honestly, I'm not sure if it's actually Logan I dread, but responsibility. I don't care who denies the fact, college is hard. Moving away is hard, shit half of my friends won't even move out of their house. The claim cause it's too expensive but I know they are scared shitless. Which I was too. I remember signing up for housing.. I hurried and did it before I could stop myself. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I think moving would make all the boys I liked come crawling, I thought it would make all my best friends realize how important I was. And sure it did, for like a month. But eventually shit goes back to normal, and I'm stuck wondering if going back to Bountiful is really the right choice. I feel like my choice to move to Logan was based on other peoples opinions, that it would make people feel something that they didn't. The only person I ended up hurting was myself. In the long run it has shown me what is important in life though. I look at it as like you think you are punishing other people but really you are just hurting yourself. Like getting bad grades to piss off your parents, sure they are disappointed but in the long run your just screwing yourself over. I think moving away has really made me appreciate Bountiful.. I don't know. I feel like I've only physically moved myself to Logan, mentally I'm still stuck in Bountiful. If not I would have made more friends and maybe would have stayed more than one weekend up here. I feel like I didn't make the commitment so I wouldn't replace my friends. Although I've made ten times more of an effort to keep the friendships strong. I came home pretty much every weekend to see them. What to doo,, what to doo..