SLACKER

HMM. College is busy,, I have yet to find time to blog. But Oh well.. I'll do it when I feel like writing. I don't really have an urge to write but I just gotta do it yaa know? Logan has been awesome so far! I still feel really anxious about it and whatnot. Today was so great though! I've been having a tough time at work lately. Lots of battle wounds including bites and pinches. I know right? HA! I mean if you look at it from a distance: I'm getting bit by a five year old. It doesn't sound that bad, but while it's happening.. it's pretty intense. I ended crying at work, which made me feel even more embarrassed.. You don't want to seem weak haha. But oh well! Today was awesome! No battle wounds and we were laughing and smiling through the whole shift! Big weight lifted off my shoulders :)  A lot of people don't really know but I have pretty bad anxiety issues/depression. It's really not that big of a deal, a lot of people have anxiety.. But being away from home really sparks mine. Last week I started a group anxiety workshop! I really enjoy it so far. It's nice to meet with a diverse group of people and share what makes us go nuts! People may think I'm a lot worse because I have to go to counseling, but it keeps me sane! I haven't had a full blown anxiety attack in over a year! So hopefully just nipping these feelings in the butt will prevent that from happening! If you wanna know what anxiety is or how I personally experience it, just let me know! I like sharing, helps me cope :) ANYWAYS. I'm just feeling really good tonight and enjoying life! I stole these from a different blog and decided to do it :) PLUS I'm starting to like somebody new, :) Awesome.

4 shows i watch:

1. Desperate Housewives
2. South Park
3. The Office
4. 30 Rock

4 things i'm passionate about:

1. Parents
2. Work
3. Music
4. Friends

4 phrases i say a lot:

1. Huuuh?
2. Yeahh n*ggaa- gotta stop with this one
3. what the hellll
4. oh my shit

4 things i've learned from the past:

1. don't repeat it!
2. things will always get better
3. education is key
4. shitty things without a positive outcome aren't worth it!

4 things i did yesterday:

1. got my nails done
2. ate!
3. drove to logan!
4. hang out with jacy

4 places i would love to visit:

1. red rocks-see arcade fire!
2. europe
3. east coast
4.  anywhere!

4 things i'm looking forward to:

1. falling in love :)
2. graduating 
3. when my parents go outta town
4. having kids

4 things i love about winter:

1. mountains!
2. skiing
3. cute coats
4. NOTHING haha


Well fun! haha. I miss feeling out survey thingss from like myspace days :/ AHH BLACK keys just came on :) I love them haha. But anywhoooo




I'll try to post again soon. Just know that tonight I'm leaving my blog with a positive outloook

Meow

I've been having the urge to Meow lately, don't know what that means. I also have a feeling that my addiction to burts bees could be a deeper thing. Like without my chap stick I feel completely nuts! I just freak out, it's such a security for me. I've almost been of accutain for a whole year, I just think it's all in my head that my lips get dry,, oh well! Hopefully they stop jacking up the prices.h aha. So lately!! I've really been enjoying skiing! When I was younger I used to go frequently but I had a "near death experience" so I stopped for about 8 years. Last weekend I went up Snowbird with my friends Gab and Jet! We took a lesson and it came back to me really easily. I forgot how much I love it! And then today, Anne and I went up to Beaver! Which is up Logan Canyon about 30 miles! I feel like I faced a really big fear of mine, driving through the canyon! I don't care how many cars I held up for going hella slow! I HATEHAHTEHA driving in canyons especially when there is a lot of snow on the roads! But I gotta say my little baby did awesome! Gotta appreciate the new tires :) And then next weekend I think my Dad is taking me to Deer Valley! I was surprised how steep the bunny hill at Beaver Mountain was.,, like a little to steep! But oh well! It was still really fun, and super cheap! I'm just grateful I'm doing something physical with my time. There is only so much I can take of sitting around watching NETFLIX even though, I LOVE NETFLIX. haha. :) But yeah! After skiing today I decided to come home. I didn't even have an urge to hang out with my friends, they have a good enough time without me. I'm not saying that all pity pity blah blah. But honestly, if they really cared I'm sure they'd make more of an effort to come up to Logan ya know? BUt anyways! I just spent the night with my parents. I feel bad for kids who don't have relationships with their parents. I mean I know some parents can be really......... I know. haha. But I'M BEYOND GRATEFUL I have the parents I DO! They mean to the world to me. I think that moving away has really helped me fully appreciate them. :) So yeah I'll admit I'd sometimes I'd rather hang out with my parents then my friends. :) I hope they like to me around me just as much!! Well.. I feel like I've kind of given an update on what's been going on. I'll try to post a blog about my classes, and work. Oh YEAH WORK. Got some great battle wounds from Friday. A brused jaw? haha. Oh man. :) Well anywho! Goodnight :)

Meoww

I really want my tattoo. But I don't know where to get it, or who should do it! I don't want to mess it up :( I mean if I get it it's on my body FOREVER. So I'm going to be hella picky until it's perfect, :) Well I should be doing math homework, but if anybody reads this and has any advice! I'm willing to pay a designer :) But expect me to be picky.. haha. Okay Thanks!!

Lindsayyy

Ugh!

Wow it sure has been a minute. Well I guess like, four days but it feels like a long time. So my first week of school has been okay. I'm pretty much done because I don't have classes on Friday, wahooo. :) So about my classes, first off I'll tell you what I'm taking!!
Aerobics, Yoga, Human Development Across the Lifespan, Biodiversity and Sustainability, and Math 1010!! My first day was okay, but on Tuesday I felt completely overwhelmed. To the point where I went and got Panda Express, haha. I hate how I use junk food for comfort, but oh freaking well. Hopefully I can replace it with exercise. Yaa right.
Well I started typing this blog and then I left it for about an hour.. sooo maybe I'll try again when I don't have desperate housewives and shit to do. :)

back in logan

The last couple of hours were really hard, I hate saying goodbye to my parents. Especially my dad,, I just love him. But now I am here and it's going okay. I think I'm going to take some pictures of my dorm and post on my blog--just show Logan. That's all I have to say but just that I'm ready to have a fun time... :) I'm sick of feeling like shit here. Sooooo here goes nothing!

You think it would be different

Before posting this blog I must warn that I'm a little moody/depressed? I could blame the fact that I'm moving back to Logan tomorrow for the next semester, and yeah that's half of it. The main half is that I'm about to start my menstrual cycle (sorry boys). But really it just gets my emotions running..

I just really don't want to go back to Logan, the thought of it makes my anxiety increase by a ton. I don't really mind Logan, I love my dorm, I love being by myself and just chilling doing homework eating whatever. But I hate being so far away from my friends, and my job causes so much stress for me. I really love my job and I feel so grateful to have it. I can't really go into detail about my job but I work with pre-schoolers that have autism. I feel like there is so much pressure on me to carry out the correct plan. Last semester there were times when I messed up and even though I just passed it off like it was nothing, it really effected me. I feel like the job would be a million times more awarding if I had passion for it. It's just shown me that I do not want to work in Special Education. I don't have the patience. I would rather stay at this job then go back to like busing, or cashiering though. At least this job will get me into the board of education and into grad school. But the reason I'm dreading it is because next semester I'm being placed with two new students, and lets just say their autism is more serve than the children I had this semester. So.. we'll just see how it goes.. I'm just already wanting this semester to be over and for it to be summer, which is Not a good thing. Another gross note, my dog is cuddling with my and she keeps farting. Disgusting.
Anyways! We'll just see, I have a feeling I'll be really busy with school and work. I don't really want to go on with it but I hate boys. I hate that I want what I can't have. And I know if I had it I wouldn't even want it anymore. I'm thinking this is a good reason I'm going up to Logan.. and see what cupid has in store for me.. haaaaaa. BLAH.

Well.. I'm going to watch some Weeds and try to get a decent amount of sleep before I cry my eyes out tomorrow.. meow.

Library.

Tonight I went to the Davis County Library and checked ou the CD selection. I've done it once before and actually found some good stuff! Today I was able to get
1.Blitzen Trapper-Furr
2.Fleet Foxes
3. Dinosaur Jr-Farm
4.GoGol Bordello-Super Taranta!
5.Kinks
6.The Raconteurs-Consolers of the Lonely
7.The Decembrists-The Hazards of Love
8.Hot Chip-Made in the Dark
9.TV on the Radio-Dear Science
10.Jack Johnson-To the Sea

Pretty good selection from the Bountiful Library right?!??! haha.

I'll make sure to check out the Logan library and see what it offers, :)

Going back to Logan

Well the day I moved to Logan, I couldn't wait until Winter Break. Finally it has come and it's pretty much over. I still have a little less than a week left, and I get to go to my friend Stephanie's cabin! I am actually really excited for that! Me and four of my other best friends locked in a cabin in the high mountains with a shit ton of food, movies, and games! Plus the bathroom is an outhouse like 15 feet away in the freezing snow. I wish all of our friends could come up, but unfortunately school has started for some people. Also no boys allowed!! I feel like a third grader with those kind of rules, plus my Mom was being all, "I don't want you to drive up the mountains by yourself, blah blah blah." I wish my Mom would realize that not all teenagers are dumb asses behind the wheel. Some of us have brains and realize that we aren't invincible, especially my friends and I. Plus I'm a wimp and a half, and if anybody is going 10 over the speed limit, I'm screaming the slow the fuck down, haha. Anyways back to Winter Break, I've had a really good time. It's felt like a summer, but also high school again because of the weather. I have loved being with all my best friends, staying up late, and just chilling in bed forever. I am getting sick of doing nothing, I'm actually kind of missing Logan. I'm excited for my new classes! And meeting new people. That's one of my goals, to make a lot of new friends. It's not like I don't like my friends I have already made, but it's just not doing it for me anymore. I hate the fact that when I'm up there I just can't wait until I'm home! I'm really not looking to replace my best friends, but just to make Logan bearable, I really hope I can meet some cool people. And I really think I'm going to focus on my grades, easier said than done right? I've never been academically skilled. But if I put my mind to it, I can do it. :) And if I can keep my GPA above a 3.0, I can get into the U next year! Then I can move  into an apartment with Cami :) All things I can definitely look forward too, and keep me motivated. :)

Obessions

Having an obsession can be terrifying. Feeling like you want and need something that you never had in the first place. I can say in my life I've had a few obsessions,, but nothing too serious. From a band, to a boy, to an actor, they usually pass quickly. My recent obsession has been Michael Cera. I recently saw him play at Kilby Court with the band Mister Heavenly. He played bass, of course :) Before then I always thought he was cute and an okay actor. I sorta agreed with what everybody said, "He plays the same role in every movie." But he did that well, so why the hell not? Anyways, at the show my friends and I were able to meet him. I shyly asked for a picture, but he said no. He claimed that photographs made him feel like a piece of meat.. I guess I understood where he was coming from, but I was super disappointed. After that night I started to think about what it would be like to be an actor, and having people demand autographs and snap photographs without your permission. I can see how it would be thrilling the first couple of years, but eventually I would be like, "When the fuck does it end?" But seeing him really made me realize how real he is. And as stupid as it sounds, I wanted to prove to him that I was a real person and not just focused on the fact that he was famous. It made me wonder if you were famous if you could really trust anybody. I would be pretty skeptical. There is nothing I could of done or said that would make him believe I'm a real person, not that it matters anyways. But when I want to do something and I can't, lets just say I get obsessed.. haha. So the few weeks after I watched every movie and tv show with him in it. I've truly come to respect him as an actor, but even more as a musician. Now that it's been a couple of weeks I'm coming down from my obsession high. I still think he is a great person though and I would jump on any opportunity to see him again. :) I'm just waiting for my next obsession. I hate looking and not being able to touch.. Oh well.

Getting started.

When I first started College I wanted to start a blog and document all the new changes etc. But I found that life was much too busy to be blogging. Also a lack of confidence in my writing added to the non existing blog. But here I am. I doubt I'll be writing a whole bunch, and that a whole bunch of people will read it. But somedays I just feel like writing, and having somewhere to express it all, will be nice. I doubt it'll be a play by play of what I'm doing everyday. But the days I feel depressed or happy or just feel like explaining my life in my own words, I'll come here and share it all :)