Before posting this blog I must warn that I'm a little moody/depressed? I could blame the fact that I'm moving back to Logan tomorrow for the next semester, and yeah that's half of it. The main half is that I'm about to start my menstrual cycle (sorry boys). But really it just gets my emotions running..
I just really don't want to go back to Logan, the thought of it makes my anxiety increase by a ton. I don't really mind Logan, I love my dorm, I love being by myself and just chilling doing homework eating whatever. But I hate being so far away from my friends, and my job causes so much stress for me. I really love my job and I feel so grateful to have it. I can't really go into detail about my job but I work with pre-schoolers that have autism. I feel like there is so much pressure on me to carry out the correct plan. Last semester there were times when I messed up and even though I just passed it off like it was nothing, it really effected me. I feel like the job would be a million times more awarding if I had passion for it. It's just shown me that I do not want to work in Special Education. I don't have the patience. I would rather stay at this job then go back to like busing, or cashiering though. At least this job will get me into the board of education and into grad school. But the reason I'm dreading it is because next semester I'm being placed with two new students, and lets just say their autism is more serve than the children I had this semester. So.. we'll just see how it goes.. I'm just already wanting this semester to be over and for it to be summer, which is Not a good thing. Another gross note, my dog is cuddling with my and she keeps farting. Disgusting.
Anyways! We'll just see, I have a feeling I'll be really busy with school and work. I don't really want to go on with it but I hate boys. I hate that I want what I can't have. And I know if I had it I wouldn't even want it anymore. I'm thinking this is a good reason I'm going up to Logan.. and see what cupid has in store for me.. haaaaaa. BLAH.
Well.. I'm going to watch some Weeds and try to get a decent amount of sleep before I cry my eyes out tomorrow.. meow.
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